Marriages, Shack-Ups, and Other Disasters
How Choice Pollution Has Screwed Us All Up
It goes without saying that everyone wants to establish a lasting relationship with another human being. But one of the glories of our free society, too many ill-defined choices, is ruining that hope. In MARRIAGES, SHACK-UPS AND OTHER DISASTERS, the author, a clinical psychologist explains how we haven't the faintest notion about how to make informed decisions about marriage, shack-ups or for that matter, any other important life choices.
The author has written a book that is both entertaining and instructive about a cultural shift that has brought about a corruption of marriage. He will discuss the results of this proliferation of choices and explain why we need to find some common ground, some compelling sense of collective purpose to make marriage and, for that matter, other relationships work. For when we loose the ability to make the right decisions on how to bond with one another, we also loose control over our lives.
As he did in his previous book, Bitches, Bastards and Lovers, Quarrels, Resolutions and Staying Together (Libra, 1984, 1999), Kurt Meyer will use Stanislavski's Method Acting technique of "working off each other" to help couples make better decisions. He will ritualize aggressive behavior by "framing anger" and thereby create a climate that will minimize conflict. He will sharpen negotiating skills through "role-playing" to help each partner reach an equitable compromise. He will define "closure" and the danger of reaching a "quick fix" that will not last. He will discuss lifestyles and values, the yardstick that will define and form the basis for a successful relationship. And finally, he will model the entire process in the dialogues and show how to work out conflicts with the help of "Reality Checks." Like soap operas with a message, these skits entertain while modeling how to make better decisions.
Freda
and Kurt Meyer act out a couple fighting over money. (Sun-Times Photo by
Robert A. Reeder)For years, Kurt Meyer and his wife Freda, a child psychologist -- trained in method acting by William H. Macy -- have presented the dialogue skits to illustrate Verbatim Therapy on television and radio, including six appearances on Feminine Franchise and two presentations on Oprah. A WFLD TV series Scenes from a Marriage, airing for more than two years, was based on the dialogues of Verbatim Therapy.
There is little doubt that the repeat appearances on television and radio were due to the popularity of the dialogue skits. The Chicago Sun-Times praised Verbatim Therapy because it showed how "acting out typical marital conflicts helps troubled couples see new ways of making collective decisions." (Copy on site)
The author and his wife have presented marriage and family problem and their solution to many church and women's groups, including, for example, the College of Complexes, a local, longstanding Saturday night discussion group. Both the author and his wife have participated in numerous public discussions on family issues.